Return of the Ex

  Just when I thought my life was getting easier, butthead comes back into the pictures.  Well, not really.  Me and Steve were hanging out and my phone rang and it was Benny.  He asked me if I could bring the "rest" of his things to his job.  So of course "push over" me says "yes" and I packed up the rest and brought it to him. I made sure Steve came with me.  I must say in a weird way I was really hurt, he didn't/couldn't even look at me.  I felt somethings when I saw him, I was shaking.  I know he is a jerk and I know we are not right for each other but I couldn't help to feel things.  He was my boyfriend for almost a year.  It makes sense but still feels wrong.  Steve got quiet after our little drop off.  It wasn't like our normal hang out sessions.  And then for some reason I told him that I think I am falling for him..ahhhhhhh! Why did I say it?  I regreted those words this morning.  I wish I hadn't of said them and it is very out of character for me to say something like that.  It's not easy to let people in and when I do it seems to be too much.

  But still no word on the new job and I am getting mad.  It is getting down to the wire with a two week notice and starting training.  And it seems to me that I will have no time for a little vacation.  I will not start a new job without having a little vacation!  I need it so desperately.  Tonight is my cousin's college graduation.  We are same age...makes me feel dumb, but I am happy for her.  She is now a certified nurse.  I have to see my nutty grandmom tonight...I can't stand her!  She better not say a word to me.  I must go...thanks girls for the comments...makes me feel loved.   

4:37 PM - May. 17, 2006 - post comment

Untitled Comment

I'm sorry your ex was ....... weird! As for telling steve how you were feeling - I'm sure there is nothing to feel embarrased about! Honesty usually is best, even if it is not intentional. I relate to how you feel about not letting people in, but when you do - it's too much. It happens to me ALL the time.

Take Care.
Xxxxx

mothtoaflame - 2:16 PM - May. 19, 2006

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